Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
