Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
