People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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