so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
