Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize