I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So squirting runs in the family.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
