I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
