Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
