Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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