Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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