I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
