We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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