He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
