he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
