Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
