Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize