it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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