she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
