This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
