Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
