YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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