Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
