Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
