White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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