I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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