My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
