i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
