And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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