i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
