I wannas sexs uuuuu
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
