Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize