we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize