How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
