You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
