I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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