Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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