I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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