i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
