Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
