do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize