Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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