There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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