she was so not down for the gang bang
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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