so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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