no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize