Whod you bang
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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