Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
