I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
