highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
