i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
