Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
