I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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