Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
