this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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