how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
