i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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