Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to align my fucking chakras
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
