I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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