im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
