So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
